Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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