Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
