dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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