Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
sarcasm needs its own font
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
ttyl tear gas
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
