The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
