dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
