I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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