I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
