you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
