Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
