I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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