normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
