turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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