: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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