all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Randomize
