Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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