I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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