I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
