Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
