But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Is it penis luge time yet?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
