he wants to bone in the snuggie
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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