like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
