I think I died a long time ago.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
