i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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