perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
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