can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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