I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize