i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
its not stalking. its research.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
