I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
vagina is talking i cant
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize