so explain again why im purple
no
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
