When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
