Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
