I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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