I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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