what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
