Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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