God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
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