fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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