You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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