the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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