I think I am morally bankrupt
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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