we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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