My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
