if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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