They should really pass out barf bags in church
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
