Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Dicks are not precious.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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