Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
