You're completely useless in the revolution.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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