he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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