What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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