it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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