Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize