i jhust puked up my retainher.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
