let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
