I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm like, not good at living.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
