Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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