I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
