You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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