OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
