I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
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your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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