Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Even my vagina gasped.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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