She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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