Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
