I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
