Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
