Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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