laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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