haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
