I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
