I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
