Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
